


Realisation

by Anneyy



Series: 🌙RobRae Week 2020 [6]
Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Everything Hurts, F/M, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23801254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anneyy/pseuds/Anneyy
Summary: Some angst and argument. After ‘Trouble in Tokyo’Part 6 of RobRae Week 2020!4/24: I’m not in love with [x]. I’m in love with you.”
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Raven, Robin/Raven, Robrae
Series: 🌙RobRae Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707925
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Realisation

**Author's Note:**

> hiya, here's my sixth entry for RobRae Week 2020!
> 
> disclaimer: not mine, obviously

“Why do you treat me differently?” Raven demanded, walking into his room. 

Robin looked up from his paperwork and tilted his head towards her. “What?” 

“You treat me differently from them. From the rest of the team.” She stated, “I don’t understand.”

“What don’t you understand?” He stated, “You have to be clearer than ‘I don’t understand’.” 

Raven looked at him, narrowing her eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Robin. You treat me differently. From everyone. You still game with Beast Boy and Cyborg. Still laugh and Beast Boy’s joke. You still flirt and laugh with Starfire but with me… all you do is go the other way.”

“I am not flirting with Starfire.” He said, looking at her. “And I sure as hell don’t treat you any differently.” 

“That’s just bullshit and you know it.” She retorted. “You ignore me. You don’t… You don’t talk to me like you used to. I’m… nobody to you.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replied coolly. Robin broke his gaze away from her, his eyes filled with anger and pain. 

“ _ That _ Robin. Every time somebody’s trying to talk, when you address me. That’s how you treat me. You don’t care about me anymore.” 

“I care about you.”

“Then you’re a liar.” She voiced, her gaze piercing his figure. “Don’t lie to me Robin, don’t you dare lie to me.” Raven watched him flinch, gripping his pen slightly within his fist before throwing it across his desk. 

“You don’t have to believe me.” 

“I don’t.” 

“I don’t know what to say to you, Raven. What do you want me to say?” 

“Dammit, I want you to look at me and tell me  _ why _ .” She angrily countered, before breathing in a breath in attempts to control her emotions. “I don’t care if you hate me, I don’t-”

“Then why are you here? You obviously cared enough to come. So why are you here?” 

“To ask. To understand why you treat me differently.” She stated, “Robin, we’re a team. I can’t work on a team where the leader refuses to cooperate with me.” 

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I don’t have time for this, I’ll talk to you later.”

“But you have time to talk to Starfire?” She asked. “That’s where you’re going right?”

“Where I’m going is none of your business.” He gritted through his teeth. 

“You’re just like him, you know.” Raven scoffed, shaking her head. “Slade. You act just like him.”

He suddenly snapped up, eyes pierced on her. His chair being pushed across the room, hitting his bed with a violent crack. “Don’t. Ever. Compare me to Slade.” He said in a low voice. “I am not him.” 

Raven flinched at his sudden outburst, feeling his breath on her neck. She inched backwards, feeling his angry stare towards her. Her voice tried to find words to what she had watched. She had never seen him so angry before. 

“I am not Slade.” He repeated, taking a step back. “Slade has killed people… tortured people. I am not that person Raven.”

“Aren’t you?” She replied, looking at him. “Aren’t you that person now?”

“Don’t ever.” He growled, “Compare me to him, Raven.” 

“Then stop torturing me! ” She said, looking at him. “Every time you only speak to the others when they’re in the room.” 

“You don’t understand.” He stated. 

She scoffed. “Oh, now I don’t understand? Really Robin? I don’t understand? You’re impossible.” 

“Well, you don’t understand.” He responded, walking up to her. He saw her roll her eyes, narrowing them towards him. 

“You can’t seriously be justifying your actions,” Raven said, pushing him backwards. Feeling the anger in her chest threatening to spill. “Robin, ever since Slade took you in as an apprentice, you’ve been like this. I can’t, I can’t go on like that.” 

“That was a long time ago.” 

“It’s not only that Robin. It’s not only since Slade. It was with Slade and Tokyo.” She countered back. “It’s been for so long Robin. You’d care then you wouldn’t.” 

“You don’t understand.” He repeated again. “I couldn’t even look at you properly without seeing anger on your face.” He said in a low voice, “Every single time I looked at you, I see the hatred you had of me when Slade recruited me to be his apprentice. I-I couldn’t look at you straight. Understand that I couldn’t look at  _ you _ without seeing the anger in your eyes.”

“So you’ve resulted in torturing me so you can redeem yourself?” She clipped back, “I can’t believe you.” 

“No, dammit. No.” He countered. “It’s not like that at all.” 

“Then what is it, Robin? What is it?” Raven asked. “Because I can’t do this anymore, I can’t sit for months waiting for you to notice me. Waiting for you to actually give a damn about me.” She shook her head, “Robin, I can’t wait for you to care again.” 

“Raven… I care. Believe me when I say it.” He voiced, “Please, believe me when I say that I care.” Robin looked at her, “I care. That’s why I couldn’t look at you, that’s why I couldn’t- I couldn’t see you without also seeing the hatred you had towards me.” He remembered all the times she would look at him with her cold, distant eyes. Feeling the feeling of her hatred and anger after the days of Slade. He could never get it out of his head. “I wanted so much for you to stop hating me.” 

“You just wanted me to be compliant.” She retorted. “You wanted me to be okay with everything you’re doing. You don’t care about me Robin. Face it, you don’t.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I’ll be out of your hair by tomorrow.” She said. Looking at his pained face before turning around and walking towards the door. 

“Raven.” He whispered. “Don’t go.” 

“Why?”

“I care about you.”

“Why?” She repeated, without turning around. “Tell me why.”

He looked at her, a sense of dread filling his stomach. He knew how he felt about her, it had never changed. All these years they were the same, even after his little fling with Starfire, trying to convince himself that he didn’t love her when he did. “I’m… I’m in lo-” He pulled his gaze away from her. He couldn’t do this to her, he couldn’t tell her he loved her after everything that he had put her through. “I’m sorry. I-I can’t…I can’t tell you.”   


“Then I’m done.” Raven said, “I’m done.” She began walking away, the door in front of her hissing open. “I can’t stand here and watch as you ignore me, expecting me to care about you when you clearly don’t feel the same way about me.” 

“No…Raven,” Robin said, grasping her wrist. “Don’t go. Raven.” He looked at her, looking into her eyes trying to get her to see the conflict that resided in his mind. “I can’t tell you because I don’t want to lose you.” He whispered. “I care about you.”

“Please stop lying to me,” Raven said hoarsely, peeling away his grip on his wrist. The anger simmering down before being replaced by pain and despair. “I always came back, I always came back to you. I did. Because I cared about you. But I can’t do it anymore Robin, I can’t.” 

Robin looked at her, looking at her pain-filled indigo eyes staring back at him. She was hurting as much as he was. “Raven. Please. Don’t go.” He voiced. “I don’t want you to go.” 

“Robin. You don’t need me anymore. Please.” Raven whispered. “So please… go back to Cyborg, go back to Beast Boy, go back to your relationship with Starfire and let me go.” Her voice broke, as she felt the anger subside and the pain seeping into her mind. “Let me go.”

“I don’t want you to go.” He repeated hoarsely. “I don’t want to let you go Raven. Please.” 

“You don’t need me anymore Robin. So please.  _ Please. _ ” She said in a low voice. “You never cared for me the way you cared about everyone else.” 

“Please don’t go.” He begged. “I-I… I don’t want you to go.” 

“Why? You never cared for me in the first place. You never lo-,” She stopped mid-sentence, looking at him. “You never cared about me. You were too busy being in love with Starfire to see me. To care about me.”

Robin felt his heart sink. “Why does Starfire matter? She isn’t in the picture here.”

“After Tokyo.” She paused, letting her words sink in and his eyes grew wide in realisation. “After Tokyo, everything changed. So please don’t ask me why it matters. Because it all matters. I was invisible to you.”

“Why does she matter to you?” Robin asked, looking at her with a piercing gaze. “She shouldn’t- why would she matter?” Then he realised, after all this time that she felt the same way he did. “You… loved me.” He stated. “You loved me. Why?”

Raven stood, a look of pain plastered on her face. She could feel her emotions reacting, screaming for her to leave. But she stood there, cemented to the ground, facing him. “I did. But you were never in love with me.” Raven felt a tear roll down her face, before quickly wiping it away. “You were in love with Starfire. How could I compete with that?”

Robin stared a look of shock before narrowing his eyes in pain. “Raven, I was never in love with her.” He reached for her hand but she pulled it away, inching backwards away from him. “I’m not in love with Starfire, I’m in love with you.” He stated simply. “I was always in love with you.”

“Why didn’t-,” Tears filling her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Raven asked, sadness climbing up her throat. “Why did you treat me like that? Like I was nothing?” 

“I don’t know!” He exclaimed, running his hand through his hair. “I don’t know Raven. I always saw you and I always thought that you would never feel the same way about me.” Robin looked at her with dry eyes. “I would’ve lost you, Raven. And I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t lose you.” He said sadly. “So, I treated you the way I did. I couldn’t, I couldn’t stop thinking about how you hated me after Slade, so I thought that hating you would make me feel better. I thought that treating  _ you _ differently would make me feel better.”

“And Starfire?” She whispered, “What about her?”

“We’re not together anymore. I didn’t tell anyone else.” He voiced out, taking a step towards her. “She was a distraction to me, and I thought I could love her and be with her. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t love her the way I loved you.” He said softly, “I’m sorry that I did what I did. I-I… hate myself for that, for treating you that way. And I’m sorry.” Robin reached for her hand, feeling it in his palm. “I’m sorry Raven.” 

She felt his hand rubbing circles on her palm, her heart swelling with all different sorts of emotions… relief, pain, sadness, grief; she couldn’t sort through them. She broke his sight, looking down at the ground. Raven opened her mouth to reply but she couldn’t find the words. Raven tucked her purple hair behind her ear, closing her eyes and taking in a ragged breath through her erratic heartbeat. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Robin said, reading her expression. “Just please… don’t go.” He stepped closer, expecting her to push him back but she didn’t. Not even flinching at his closeness to her face. His eyes traced over her small features- her indigo eyes, the red chakra that sat at the top of her forehead undisturbed- he wanted so much to pull her close to him and apologise for everything that he put her through. All he wanted was for her to stay, so he could find a way to make it up to her. “Please don’t go. I don’t want you to go.”

“I-I.” She voiced in a whisper. “I won’t go.” Raven brought her hand up to his face, tracing the edge of his mask. “I won’t go.” 

Robin nodded, “I’m sorry for doing that. I’m sorry for treating you like that, I didn’t mean to.” He could smell her hair, her shampoo. “Can I… Can I hold you?”

She gently nodded her head, stepping forward to be met by his arms wrapping around her body. Raven felt his gentle heartbeat in his chest. “I hope you know, this doesn’t make up for what you’ve done.”

“I know. I know but I just want you to know, I’m trying.” Robin said, stroking her hair. “I’ll be better, I promise.” 

“I know.” Raven said, “I know you will.” 

Robin held her, for what felt like hours, feeling her small figure wrapped around his arms. How comfortable it was to be with her. It was easy with her, it just… made sense. When she did finally pull away, she looked at him with tired eyes and left him, alone in his room with nothing but a mixture of grief and happiness sitting in his chest. 

[]

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts?
> 
> i'm realising that both of these characters are slightly OOC, but i tried to make it adhere to the charecter. hope that's okay!


End file.
